Why do people ask lesbians, “Who’s the boy and who’s the girl?”

Why do some people ask lesbians, "Who's the boy and who's the girl?"

“Who’s the boy in the relationship?” Here’s why this question is one of the most ignorant questions lesbians are asked.

People ask lesbians “who’s the boy and who’s the girl?” because they’re ignorant. Or blind – clearly no one is a boy in this relationship!

In all honestly, I understand why this is a common question. By no means do I like it – but I get it. We’re raised in a society that holds heterosexuality as the norm, so it makes complete sense that it’s difficult for people to understand that two women could be in a relationship in which they both embrace their roles as women. In the eyes of many, there has to be a man – or at least someone who identifies as one – in order for a relationship to work.

But that’s not the case. In fact, speaking on behalf of lesbians everywhere, relationships work a lot better when both parties are female. Sure, sometimes it takes two of us to lift something heavy or figure out how to use a calking gun, but we always figure it out. No boys needed!

For the sake of playing devil’s advocate, though, I must admit that Faith does a lot of the “blue” jobs in our house. We call them this because they’re – hold onto your hats, feminists – traditional “male” tasks. I’m talking about the things that, back in the 1930s, women just didn’t do. Like hanging picture frames and hauling the Christmas decorations up from the basement and tightening loose faucets.

But this doesn’t change the fact that neither of us have testicles. It’s just how things work in our household, mostly because I happen to enjoy cleaning and organizing and Faith would rather build stuff. It comes down to personal preference, not biology – and you’ll notice this division of tasks in all relationships! A lot of straight women hate wearing skirts, and refuse to wash the floors or garden or bear children. I know men who do most of the cooking, and prefer to sit in the passenger seat – in the car and in the bedroom.

Bottom line? It’s the 21st century, people. Let’s stop with the gender stereotyping already.