Do lesbians hate men?
As with most questions we’re asked, this is a common misconception. People assume that lesbians hate men because they like women, or like women because they hate men, but these two things are mutually exclusive. In other words, not all lesbians have “daddy issues”, and hating men isn’t a condition of loving women – imagine that!
Case in point: As you know, Faith and I both identify as lesbians. We also have a number of kind, respectful men in our lives whom we love dearly. But – there’s always a ‘but’ – we’ve also been hurt by men. On the same note, we’re disrespected by men on a regular basis. Because of this, we aren’t particularly fond of men as a group.
To reiterate – we love certain men individually. We don’t love the patriarchy.
But neither of us believe this is connected to our gayness. I think it’s impossible to determine cause and effect when it comes to sexuality, but it’s safe to say that we’re gay simply because we like women, not because of our feelings toward our male counterparts. It’s as simple as that, and there’s really no need to complicate it.
While I’m sure there are some lesbians out there who identify as gay due to bad experiences with men, this is the exception, not the rule. In fact, I think it’s really important that everyone reading this understands that men don’t make lesbians. We make ourselves. As with every other facet of life and love, we need to stop crediting men for who we are, and start keeping that credit for ourselves.
Do you detect a hint of anger? That’s the feminist in me, not the lesbian.