Do I look gay enough?

The Lesbian Blog — Do I look gay enough?

It’s not uncommon for lesbians — especially femmes — to worry that they don’t look “gay enough”. Here’s why it’s time to stop worrying, and start embracing your own style!

If you’re worried you don’t look gay enough, stop worrying! We can’t stress this enough: sexuality does not have an appearance.

That being said, many lesbians (particularly femmes) receive flak for not fitting the stereotypically gay look. Sometimes called “invisible femmes”, these lesbians are often forced to come out again and again because their appearance doesn’t come out for them. In other words, because they don’t look gay, people automatically assume that they’re straight.

This is to be expected in our heteronormative society – but that doesn’t excuse the fact that these assumptions need to stop. Until they do, the harsh truth is that many lesbians will be singled out (sometimes by fellow members of the LGBTQ+ community) for not looking gay enough. They’ll have to turn away dozens of flirtatious men, correct strangers when assumptions are made about their sexuality and, in some cases, give in to the expectations that are projected onto them by the masses.

If you’re faced with pressure to look more gay, keep in mind that you’re allowed to look exactly how you want to look. If you’d like to cut your hair short and dress to suit all those gay stereotypes, don’t do it because you feel like you have to – do it because you want to. On the flip side, if you want to look exactly like a straight girl (whatever that means… *cue eye roll*), then go ahead and do that. Whatever you decide, just make sure it feels right!